Sylvie Shene - Articles - Learning to use the Tools Available

View this website in:

Português/Portuguese

Español/Spanish

ARTICLES: LEARNING TO USE THE TOOLS AVAILABLE

We are all teachers and students. The majority of people teaches and learns through pain and there are few of us that teach and learn through love.

What kind of teacher and student are you?

The Universe is very compassionate, always provides what we need, if we have the need to teach and learn through pain. It will bring us teachers and students that teach and learn through pain.

We don’t attract what we want. We attract what we are. Is being the right person, not looking for the right person? From my personal experience, learning through pain is not fun! Pain is never fun! But when I learn and teach through love, it’s a lot of joy! We find love when we are love. German philosopher Eckart Tolle says, “Love is a State of Being. Your love is not outside, it is deep within you. You can never lose it and it cannot leave you. It is not dependent on some other body, some external form.”

So, how do we become love, so we can teach and learn through love?

First, I have to become conscious, present, thereby releasing the need to learn and teach through pain. We must accept ourselves and everyone else as we are today. We must accept what is at this moment without judging. To accept what we like is easy. The challenge is to accept what we don’t like.

Molly Young Brown Says: “Acceptance does not mean resignation or even approval; we do not have to give up hope for change. Acceptance is simply a realistic recognition of things the way they are and a willingness to work from that base. Acceptance is always the first step in healing, as paradoxical as that may seem. We need to work with ourselves and with others from where we actually are now, not from where we would like to be.”

We must peel all the blocks that cover our inner love.

Here are some of the blocks that hide our love:

Denial - People’s number one enemy. Break through denial and half of the work is done. The great malady of our society, implicated in all our troubles and affecting us individually and socially, is the denial of our shadow, and the neglect of our soul. When our shadow is denied, and our soul neglected, they don’t just go away, they appear symptomatically in obsessions, addictions, violence, greed, deceit and loss of meaning. Our temptation is to isolate these symptoms or try to eradicate them one by one, but the root problem is the denial of our shadow, and the neglect of our soul.

Anger - We need to learn to release and express our anger without harming others or ourselves. Dr. Deepak Chopra says: “Living in the present means being honest enough to avoid the easy emotion, which is anger, and expose the hurt which is harder to comfort or admit.”

Pain - We must face the pain in our lives. The only way out is through it.

Nothing in the external world, no religion, not a job, not a relationship and not any amount of money can save us from the pain of our past. Until we walk through our pain, we will keep repeating, recreating our past in the present moment. Dr. Alice Miller in her book, The Truth Will Set You Free; Overcoming Emotional Blindness and Finding Your True Adult Self says: “the past always catches up with us, in our relationships with other people and especially with our children.” Also Dr. Deepak Chopra says: “forgiveness of others comes only when you can release your own hurt. The more complete your release, the more sincere the forgiveness." If I truly want to forgive the people that hurt me, I have to release the pain. The only way to release the pain is to face it, articulate it and feel it, until is gone. If we can feel it we can heal it. I know sometimes the pain can be overwhelming, and we need to take a break from it by going to work, taking care of ourselves, and some distractions of safe fun. But we must take time to face, be, articulate our pain and feel it until is gone. Pain comes to every one’s life. The suffering comes because we run, avoid, repress and deny our pain. If we don’t acknowledge and take responsibility for our wounds, but instead we deny and repress them, the wounds inflicted on us, we will inflict those same wounds on others and the next generation.

Toxic Shame - We must to let go of our toxic shame. Toxic shame is the motor that drives all addictions. John Bradshaw in his book Healing The Shame That Binds You says: “Toxic shame is the source and wellspring of all their thoughts and behavior. Everything is organized around preventing exposure. You can’t ever give up your mask and defenses against exposure. Toxic shame is far worse than the hungry dogs in the basement. It’s like a herd of charging rhinos -- a school of hungry man-eating sharks. You cannot let your guard down for one second.”

Judging - Every time we label things as good or bad, right or wrong; we create turbulence in our minds. Rumi, a thirteenth century poet said: “between right doing and wrong doing there is a field I will meet you there.” Dr. Deepak Chopra also says: “no one is wrong in the eyes of love, all people are doing the best they can from their own levels of consciousness.” We do what we can to help raise consciousness in the world without judging, and without being attached to the outcome. When we judge and become attached to the outcome we block the love, the only thing that can heal, and we waste energy that will no longer be available to do our work.

Prejudices - Dualistic thinking comes from the belief that we are separate. When we have prejudices against someone or something, we are intolerant and we have lack of compassion. It is a false notion that conflict resolution lies in war and violence.

Fear - The sooner we face and walk through our fears, the sooner we will be free to be ourselves. Yogi Amrit Desai says: “Fear is a function of unconsciousness. When you begin to face all that was suppressed, fear goes away. As fear goes away, love begins to manifest.”

We need to learn to use the tools available to us. We use the tools to help us peel all the blocks that hide our love, and not to escape from facing it, and feeling our pain and unpleasant feelings.

I witness everyday people using the tools to escape from looking at their inner life, and not to help them face it, and walk through it. We can escape our inner life with anything. Some people use work, politics, religion and spirituality just like an addict uses drugs or alcohol. Anything to an extreme becomes a vice. A healthy life is a balanced life. We can do anything we like to do in balance. The alchemist/physician Paracelsus established 500 years ago, "All substances are poisons; there is none which is not a poison. The right dose differentiates a poison and a remedy."

Each person has to find his or her own balance. We are all very similar, but we are also very different, and every person’s balance is different. Yogi Amrit Desai says: “You do not have to be perfect to work toward external changes in the world. What is needed is your intention to change yourself as you work for change, to live in balance as you live for balance.”

Here are some of the tools available to us to help us peel away the blocks that hide our love:

Foremost, we must listen to our inner voice and follow our heart. The heart always takes us to the lessons we need to help us become conscious, learn, and grow. The lesson is repeated until it is learned.

Trust your intuition - Our intuition is our Higher Self or God talking to us. Every time I get into trouble and hurt, it is when I have ignored my intuition. Take time to listen to your intuition.

Read inspirational and educational books - When I was going through the most difficult times in my life, and was the victim of deceit at the hands of my own sister at great monetary cost to me, and later, when my partner caused the end of our relationship of 10 years, I don’t think I would have survived it, if I did not have the knowledge to understand why people behave in deceiving ways.

The Seven Spiritual Laws of Success written by Deepak Chopra - Practicing the seven spiritual laws of success help me accept myself and others and take responsibility for my own feelings and life. They are a big help in my recovery.

12-Step Programs - Co-Dependents Anonymous and Al-Anon, they were good tools to help me detach from my partner and family addictive behaviors, and they helped me create healthy boundaries with all the people in my life.

Exercising - It's the best way to keep mind and body in balance and helps release toxic emotions.

Meditation – A good way to get in touch with our higher self and it helps us be with what is in the present moment. It also helps us heal past wounds and release toxic emotions.

Breathing exercises - It helps us calm our mind when we are obsessing. Dr. Deepak Chopra in his book, “Grow Younger, Live Longer” says: “breathing exercises can energize us without the need for caffeine, relax us without the need for tranquilizers, and soothe us without the need for alcohol.”

Seeing a competent therapist - Who is a competent therapist? Anyone that has faced their inner life, his own history, and has taken responsibility for their repressed emotions, shadow or illness. One that no longer is projecting their repressed emotions, shadow, beliefs or illnesses onto you, and the world. When I was young girl I was taken by my older sister to see a psychiatrist. This doctor had not faced his inner life, his own history and taken responsibility for his repressed painful emotions, illness or shadow. The ultimate result was not help, but harm as he projected his unconsciousness, illnesses, beliefs and shadow onto me.

Music - It's a great tool to help us express ourselves and release toxic emotions.

Art - A very good way to express our inner feelings. A novelist and essayist James Baldwin said,” all art is a kind of confession, more or less oblique. All artists, if they are to survive, are forced, at last, to tell the whole story.”

Writing - Another great way to express our ourselves and release our pain.

Pets - Taking care of a pet is very therapeutic, they teach us how to be responsible for another being, and how to love unconditionally. I once heard someone say: “Until one has truly loved an animal a part of ones soul remains un-awaken.” In my darkest moments the love for my cats carried me through it. Our love is always what carries and save us. Make love a priority, the most important thing in your life.

Religion - I was reluctant to mention this tool, because over the years, organized religion has developed a big shadow. The shadow of organized religion has fostered divisiveness and xenophobia, manipulating people through fear and violence. Organized religion has only shown interest in indoctrinating people and they don’t show any interest in the people’s plight, understanding it, and helping the people free themselves from their plight.

Yogi Amrit Desai says: “changing life on the planet cannot be done, except temporarily and superficially, through fear. It can only be accomplished in the Spirit of Love.”

Unless we have the light to recognize the shadow, and be able to detachment from it, and know how to use our religion to help us, religion can cause a lot more harm.

We also need to be aware of the shadow present in all of the tools. Every one has grains or nuggets of truth, but each also has lies to some degree. Some tools, just as some people, have more truth than lies and some have more lies than truth. It’s up to us to be able to distinguish the truth from the lies. Then we can take the truth with us and leave the lies behind. For us to be able to distinguish the truth from the lie, we must remove all the blocks that prevent our light from coming through so we can see everyone and ourselves clear. Dr. Deepak Chopra says, “Within everyone there is light and shadow, good and evil, love and hate. If you can truly embrace these opposites within yourself, you will be authentic, and as yourself-acceptance expands until there is nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to hide, your life will take on the generosity and warmth that marks every great lover.”

Also, we must not get too attached, dependent or addicted to any of the tools. We must remain open. I like very much the words Thich Nhat Hanh says in his book Peace Is Every Step:

“Do not be idolatrous about or bound to any doctrine, theory, or ideology. All systems of thought are guiding means; they are not absolute truth.

Do not think that the knowledge you presently possess is changeless, and the absolute truth. Avoid being narrow-minded and bound to present views. Learn and practice non-attachment from views in order to be open to receive others’ viewpoints. Truth is found in life and not merely in conceptual knowledge. Be ready to learn throughout your entire life and to observe reality in yourself and in the world at all times.

Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education. However, through compassionate dialogue, help others renounce fanaticism and narrowness.

Do not maintain anger or hatred. Learn to penetrate and transform them while they are still seeds in your consciousness. As soon as anger or hatred arises, turn your attention to your breathing in order to see and understand the nature of your anger or hatred and the nature of the persons who have caused your anger or hatred.

Do not lose yourself in dispersion and in your surrounding. Practice mindful breathing in order to come back to what is happening in the present moment. Be in touch with what is wondrous, refreshing, and healing, both inside and around you. Plant the seeds of joy, peace, and understanding in yourself in order to facilitate the work of transformation in the depths of your consciousness.

Do not utter words that can create discord and cause the community to break. Make every effort to reconcile and resolve all conflicts, however small.

Do not say untruthful things for the sake of personal interest or to impress people. Do not utter words that cause division and hatred. Do not spread news that you do not know to be certain.

Do not criticize or condemn things that you are not sure of. Always speak truthfully and constructively. Have the courage to speak out about situations of injustice, even when doing so may threaten your safety.

Do not mistreat your body. Learn to handle it with respect. Do not look on your body as only an instrument. Preserve vital energies for the realization of the way. In sexual relationships, be aware of future suffering that may be caused. To preserve the happiness of others, respect the rights and commitments of others. Be fully aware of the responsibility of bringing new lives into the world. Meditate on the world into which you are bringing new beings.”

How do we know when we are learning and teaching through love? We feel joy!

Home About Me Thoughts Poems Articles Donations Links

Website Design and Maintenance by Arizona Web Group